your name is?

Another day, another party, huh? Well, good for you for not letting the ending of the last one get you down. Remember, this is a numbers game, and a charm game, also, a game of conversation and tolerance for alcohol. Really, it’s quite complex, so practice is in your best interest.

Emmentaler, not swiss

This looks promising, well lit, the well stocked bar, and a waiter just walked past with a selection of cheeses not limited to cheddar and emmentaler (though nothing wrong with those cheeses, in fact, they are quite delicious). In any case, you walk up to the bar, order a gin and tonic, and then spot a friend of yours loosely associated with a circle of attractive young women. Feel free to approach.

As you do so, see if you can pick up on the particulars of the conversation before you actually join in. Remember to look for an opening.

“Ignatious Riley is easily my favorite fictional name.” Says someone whose name you think might be Jeanne based on an introduction several months ago. This is as good a place as any. Pat your friend on the back and interject: “Agreed, great name. I recently came across a better one, though, and it’s real: Theophilus Shepstone.”

Theophilus’s parents clearly knew he was destined for some minor greatness when they named him. Did they know he would spend thirty years as the director of native policy in Natal (a British colony in South Africa), where he would allow the colonized to maintain their local customs, thereby avoiding all but one rebellion throughout his entire tenure? Or that he would be the one who was entrusted to annex Transvaal with the help of twenty five mounted policemen? Or, that his close relations with the Zulu nation, and the shifts in his policies towards them and the betrayal they felt therein helped precipitate the Anglo-Zulu War of 1879? Probably not, but, still and all, there you have it.

The man in question was quit e a natty dresser, it seems

Of course, all that is something of a mouthful, so you might just limit yourself to: “Though I suppose the British had lots of high-falutin’ names back in the 1800s. Still, Theophilus is a good one, and he accomplished quite a bit in British South Africa.”

As a first foray of the night, not too bad.